On December 21, 2020 I wrote a blog about how I was angry at God. I thought I would write again to give you an update on how I am doing. On December 26th I had a knock down screaming match with God and told him how frustrated and angry I am and feel like he has let me down. It felt good to let that anger out and my spiritual advisor assures me that God will listen and understand (I certainly hope so). I have to admit it felt darn good.
Then I watched in shock on January 6th as the riots occurred at our Nations capitol. I was just astounded that this our President of the United States had a hand in this. It sent me into despair. It felt like I already have so much on my plate with trying to stay healthy, remember what I am doing on any given day, my Alzheimer’s advocacy activities, quarantine so I don’t get COVID and then I have to worry about our country and my own safety. I was just overwhelmed, and angry.
On Inauguration Day, January 23rd I watched the ceremony with great anticipation. Regardless of political affiliation, I think most U.S. citizens would agree that something had to change within this country. I sat there and watched the ceremony and all of a sudden the tears came and they flowed and flowed in a torrential downpour for four hours. My husband came home from golf and thought something was really wrong when he saw my eyes swollen like a raccoons. I told him that I had watched the ceremony and I thought it was lovely but I couldn’t believe how much stress I had been under with everything going on with my health, COVID, and the political unrest.
So here I am on February 2nd and I am feeling optimistic and renewed. My burden has been lifted. Sure, I still have Alzheimer’s, and COVID is still here but I can handle it now without being sad. I am looking forward to every minute going forward that I have with good cognition. I am back to having fun. I am golfing and boating (when it’s not cold here in FL) reading (I can’t remember previous chapters of my books but that’s ok, I’m still enjoying them), and doing little projects around the house. Life is great!
We also met with my neurologist who indicated that my condition is getting a bit worse but not much but she thought that perhaps I should take a depression medication because depression is one of the symptoms of Alzheimer’s. I declined. In my case, it is a sign of all the crap going on in the U.S. right now. I don’t like unnecessary medications, and I am usually the happiest person I know so I will just get better and having a good cry when I need it.
For those of you who are feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders, I highly recommend you relieve that burden by having a really good cry. It helps tremendously. Wishing you all a blessed day!
Not today, Alzheimer’s, not today!