I Need to Set Boundaries/Know my Limitations

Do you wonder where I have been? I haven’t posted in quite awhile because I’ve been in a funk.I am an overzealous Type A personality. I have always been able to do the work of 5 people in the same amount of time one person could do it. I am driven, and competitive. I always thrived on being super busy and in charge. This behavior once was exhilarating to me, but now that I have Early Onset Alzheimer’s I realize that is exhausting to me. I have reached a point that where when I operate this way I am easily overwhelmed.

About a month ago I reached my breaking point. I felt like I had too much on my plate. Too many people asking me to participate in activities, interviews, etc. Things started falling through the cracks………things NEVER fall through the cracks with me. I was shocked by how much anxiety and stress I had trying to manage what quite frankly would be considered a “light load for me”. I had several good cries over it. My shiny armor is starting to change with Alzheimer’s. The stress I have when I am trying to do too much if overwhelming.

I took a good hard look at everything “on my plate”. I exercise 6-7 days a week………I need to keep that up for my brain health. That takes a good amount of time each day. I also participate in numerous Alzheimer’s advocacy activities either via conference calls, and also interviews. I am also active in Alzheimer’s fundraising activities. I volunteer at a local Backpack Angels program and run a Facebook Group called Saving Pets One Pet @ A Time which has over 10K members. I also am the captain of a Ladies Fun Golf League in my subdivision. This is all great…..until it wasn’t. I have hit a brick wall.

I had an appointment with my cardiologist who told me that my heart condition has gotten progressively worse. She encouraged me to focus on the things that give me “heart and brain health”. We talked about how I am feeling and I told her for the first time in my life I feel overwhelmed with my daily activities. She encouraged me to reprioritize what I am doing.

Additionally, things are falling through the cracks now at home and my dear husband, Kim is now having to pick up more of the household activities. I have begun paying some of our bills twice because I forget that I paid them. I am not willing to give this up yet, so now he is checking my work. He also has to help me with my medications even though we have them very well organized so I don’t take them twice. Oh the joys of having Alzheimer’s at 59 years old. It makes me so mad sometimes, that I have finally allowed myself to cry.

I have decided that I cannot cut back on my exercise even though I don’t enjoy it as much as I do it. Exercise and diet is the ONLY thing I can do to keep this damn disease at bay. So I will exercise by butt off. I enjoy my Alzheimer’s Advocacy and fundraising work, but quite frankly I get asked to participate in so much now that it’s overwhelming and I don’t really enjoy it anymore. So I am going to cut back there and only allot a few hours a month to do it, not 5-10 hours a week that I have been doing. I am also going to get better at taking naps and allow those electrons in my brain to reconnect, per my doctor. I have also given up running the Ladies Fun Golf League…..I no longer want to be in charge. It’s too stressful for me and it’s time to let others run it so I can focus on my health.

This was a difficult post for me to write. I have always thrived on being super busy, very involved etc. I need to know my limitations and understand my boundaries. Its what is best for me and my husband right now. They say when “one door shuts another opens”……….I’m waiting to see what the new door is going to offer. I’m scared of what I’ll find.

5 thoughts on “I Need to Set Boundaries/Know my Limitations

  1. Kelly, though I definitely can not relate to what you’re living with, I wanted to encourage you to do what brings you joy, stop and smell the Roses refrain from multi tasking. I retired this past year and focused on these three things and find I’m much less anxious, can focus better, I don’t struggle with my vocabulary as much. You are such an inspiration to all. Stay strong! We’re all rooting for you.

    Like

  2. Oh Kelly,
    I am so sorry that you have been going through this. It is a huge slap in the face to us type A personalities.
    It’s good that you stepped back to reassess your life and let go of a few things. Living with anxiety 24/7 isn’t healthy for us.
    Even when you don’t post, I think of you and hope you are doing well, as we both wander this journey of early onset Alzheimer’s.
    My thoughts are with you and your husband. This is a trip that no one wants to take. I am walking beside you virtually.
    Your friend in diagnosis
    Melissa

    Like

  3. Love you Kelly. Are you and Kim still planning your trip? Is there anything I can do for you to help with it? Please let me know….

    Like

  4. Dearest Kelly,

    You continue to amaze me. The strength shown in your vulnerability and humility truly inspire me and help me to take care of myself despite desperate feelings of laziness & inadequacy. Especially when friends or family tell me that I am just depressed and need to exercise more. They mean well but it can feel so hurtful.

    My heart aches for you and what you’re going through because I feel the same. The frustration experienced with the realization that you must slow down can be very distressing. It’s of utmost importance that we recognize, acknowledge and honor our body’s needs and learn levels of patience that we never imagined would be called for.

    You are so brave Kelly. Thank you for helping us understand and have compassion for ourselves, and others on the same journey, as we read about your journey through this extraordinarily difficult experience that seems to defy all reason.

    Sending big hugs, lots of love and light to you. God bless you sweetheart.

    Carole

    On Wed, Apr 21, 2021 at 12:50 PM Living My Best Life With Alzheimer’s wrote:

    > Kelly posted: ” Do you wonder where I have been? I haven’t posted in quite > awhile because I’ve been in a funk.I am an overzealous Type A personality. > I have always been able to do the work of 5 people in the same amount of > time one person could do it. I am driven, and” >

    Like

    1. Thank you for your nice note. Your are correct, this is a tough pill to swallow, but I am finding that I am finally getting some peace by doing this. I find that I am finally coming to grip with this diagnosis, no matter how difficult this is. Praying for you, Carole. God Bless.

      Like

Leave a Reply to Kelly Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s