This is my awesome husband, Kim. We have been married five years. He is a wonderful guy, but like many men he was used to his previous wife, and now me doing almost everything around the house. Currently, I am responsible for the following:
- Grocery Shopping
- Bill Paying
- Preparing Taxes
- Investing our Money
- Hiring contractors etc
As you can imagine, as my Alzheimer’s condition progresses, these things are going to be virtually impossible for me to continue to do. Cue the “deer in the headlights look”. My poor husband doesn’t know what is going to hit him. Not only will he have to take over all the things above, he will also have to add caregiving to his plate.
In an effort to help this man I love dearly, I have started to research nursing homes, in care nursing services, etc for when I need them so he does not have to. (I wrote about my emotional week in my last blog post. This seems like a wise decision since I have been a caregiver to my Mom and know what to look for, I know what I want (I am a clean freak and very picky) and it take the burden off of him. Of course things can change from the time I make my initial decision to when I actually need these services but at least I have done a lot of the legwork for him.
More importantly, is the long laundry list of items mentioned above that I currently do. I have decided that he needs to learn to do all of these while I am still operating at my current cognitive abilities. So, I have implemented what I am calling Husband 101 training and he has reluctantly agreed to participate, knowing that it is much easier to learn this while I am cognizant, than trying to figure out how to do everything when I am not. He has indicated however, that he will need more frequent naps during the day because I am exhausting him.
Now when he asks me to do something for him like get a stain out of his golf shirt, I tell him “no honey, I’ll teach you how to do it”. Then I get a irritated look from him but then he does it and is quite pleased with his accomplishment. He is currently learning how to pay our bills via online bill payment, work with our financial planner and accountant, and prepare our taxes. Rather than dumping it on him all at once, as I start to do something, I request that he join me and then I teach him how to do it. The next time he will do it.
Kim has always been an amazing husband, but now he is going to have super hero powers. He is going to need a lot of prayers and support like all caregivers do. God bless him as he moves forward in this new role.